Cerulean Cordillera

Archive for March 19th, 2009

I’m currently in the process of moving my blog onto a WordPress platform. It used to be built almost completely out of php includes that was expanded on some template I found on the Internet. To update a blog, I had to first write a post in word, copy the text into a text editor, add in the <h3> and the <p> tags, save as a text file. Move text file into text directory, then make copies of previous blogpage and change the number to include it, and finally add three new lines into blog.php. With wordpress, now all I have to do is type and press a button.

It makes things so much easier…

I’ve just uploaded all my previous blog entries. In this new system they’ll have an official date that is today, but in front of the content I’ve added in the “Originally posted on…” dates manually. Tomorrow, I’ll move my articles and other stuff over.

I’m off to sleep now. See ya!

FDEL

Originally posted on Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It’s been a while. I have updated the articles page with photographs from the remaining two days of the cruise trip. Those two days were merely days spent at sea, so there’s not much new things to take photographs of. In any case, this closes the chapter on my week cruise.

<Edit: Since moving to WordPress, the “articles” page is no longer the location for the photographs. Photographs for days 1~5 can be found in previous blog posts. Photographs for days 6 and 7 are here.>

I’ve also updated the cool links page with a few more articles mostly about China and Tibet. One article, the one by Michael Parenti, has an overwhelming amount of citations and sources, whereas the other one, by Peter Hessler, is written with quite a neutral outlook. They’re quite a refreshing change from the media’s constant bashing of China’s Tibet policies. With the Tibet issue, I recognize that there are lots of things that we don’t want to see, like government creating an unofficial state of martial law by sending in lots of soldiers. However, I’m of the opinion that before you demonize the Chinese government, at least try to understand the situation as situations are often much more complex and harder to deal with than people think. The more articles I read on this, the less certain of the whole picture I become, and thus the less I want to make conclusions about it.

This past Saturday I visited a friend whom I haven’t conversed with for a very long time despite the fact that she lives just down the street. From the visit, several things were made apparent. Our lives certainly grew apart since university began. She still houses the same spirit of self-improvement that I no longer share. Actually, that’s not true. I think it’s our psychology that’s different, and thus our methods for tackling our own growth differs as well. I am not as strong or disciplined as she is, so if I try to handle things like she does, I will get burned out easily. This is why a better strategy for me is to maintain constant harmony with myself and allow my irrational desires to push me to grow at a natural pace. And with my rate of growth, I’m quite content.

It seems that we no longer have many things in common to talk about now. It’s kinda interesting actually. She kept on insisting me to relax, and don’t always be so serious, or something like that, yet I kinda wanted to point out that Innis in general is extremely clean, organized, simple, and square-like just like any office building. When I entered her room, I saw two computer screens in a neat room. One screen was displaying news from BBC, the other screen was on several communication streams including Skype. When I sat on the bed, she would be talking to people over IM not unlike a scene where an office worker is communicating with her client over the Internet. When the phone rings, it is immediately picked up in a professional-like manner. When we talk, her voice was quiet and efficient. In that kind of environment, it feels like waiting at a receptionist desk. Naturally, I got into my “serious” mode without even realizing, and later on when I tried to get out of it, it just didn’t feel natural.

I think most of my other friends would agree that I’m usually quite balanced between being serious and being goofy. That’s how I am naturally, but for some reason this becomes restricted in Innis, I guess tis one of the reasons why I dislike that building.

Hmm… Woodsworth rez is probably worse.

Ah, right. I got an AMD job, and it was quite an ego boost. PEY results for first round was released last week, and I was ranked #1 for two positions. When I went to the PEY office, the people there told me that you don’t see people with multiple offers very often during round one, and if you do see them, they’re usually for people with top marks in the program. My GPA right now, although on a rising trend since I rebounded from the fall during first year second term, still only reaches a 3.3. Yet, of the six applications I got a response from, I got four Interviews. Of the four interviews, each one of them went very well, and I got ranked #1 for two of them. It seems that my efforts got me results.

Since the beginning of PEY, I made sure to treat each and every job application as if it’s the job that I absolutely just have to get. To do this, I did my research and made sure to cater every cover letter to the position. It was important to show them that I understand what the job is about, and I tried to do that to the best of my ability. This included attending info sessions, talking to past PEY people, and doing online research on the company and positions. Every time I submitted an application, I would know that my application will be the one that looks a great deal more solid than the average application.

Apparently, doing this got me quite a few interviews. According to the career center, if a company wants to reject a student, then the company must indicate this on the PlacePro system, so I would know if I was rejected. I applied to about 20 places in total, got responses for six, and no responses for the remaining. Some of those companies probably backed out of the PEY system due to the economic scene, others probably haven’t reached a decision yet. Out of the six, I was rejected by two, but got interviewed by four. This can probably be roughly considered as a 66% interview rate, so clearly all those research was worth it.

Then I adopted a perspective of confidence. For each and every Interview, I was never nervous or fearful of rejection. I made sure I dress well. Upon meeting the person I made sure to shake hand firmly and project an image of confidence and professionalism. The thing with Interviews is that, if you can deal with the nervousness of anticipation before and when meeting the person, then everything after becomes perfectly normal. I knew that I was perfectly capable of tackling any problems or questions they might throw at me because I had confidence in my abilities and my personal growth in the past. Throughout the Interview, I didn’t treat it as them interviewing me to see if I’m good enough. Instead, I treated it like we’re both interviewing each other to decide whether we can work well and create something together. Apparently, once you’re in that mindset, talking was easy, efficient, and fun. At the end of each of these Interviews, I’d feel this awesome sense of self. It made me start thinking that if I ever need a mood booster, an interview would do the job.

And apparently this worked. Out of the four interviews, I was really only weeded out by one, and that was the interview where I was interviewed by four employers at once, and it was a management position. I believe I only lost that position because I lacked the experience or training. For the other three interviews (one hardware, two software), I got ranked by them all, as each of them sent me an email afterwards telling me I’ve entered their final selection pool. And out of these three, I got first place for two of them.

So, on Monday, May 18th, I’ll be beginning work at AMD’s Toronto office. The position is a testing position, but quite an extensive one. The idea is to make sure various AMD graphics chips are compatible with all sorts of operating systems, programs, and platforms. Not only will this offer quite some experience with computer graphics in general, there’s also a chance to work with Windows 7 before anyone else. There’ll be lots of challenges ahead, but I’ll definitely be able to overcome them. Meanwhile, this also means I need to obtain my G2 license before May 18th. I’ll also need to look for housing for the summer and next year.

I also attended an info session on graduate school yesterday. The session was hosted by Willy Wong, my old prof for E&M. Graduate school seems to be really tough both to get in and to stay in, but the idea of it is very awesome. Apparently the minimum requirements is a mid-B average. If I maintain my current level of grades, and improve a little in first term fourth year, I’ll have a chance, and if I have a chance, then my pro-activeness will make it an almost certainty. I’m still not going to make a decision about it until after PEY, when I have better knowledge of the industry’s conditions. However, I think it is likely for me to try for a M. Eng after getting my degree. And then if I’m still ambitious (I’m fantasizing now, lol), I might go for an MBA. Ultimately, I want to make a difference with my knowledge and skills, and I want to do it in my own natural way.

I’m getting hungry now. Recently I’ve been criticized by several people for not eating healthily and not exercising. These are things I will get to eventually, but for now, other things have higher priorities.

Originally posted on Wednesday, February 25, 2009

First, a little note: I will upload photos of the last two days of my cruise trip soon. I won’t have a blog post about them because both days were merely spent on the ship as the ship made its way back to Miami. Both days, I studied OS throughout the day, went to dinner, and watched the evening shows, and that was it. The towel animals for the last two days was a snake and a valentine heart thingy, and you’ll see them when I upload the pictures. Meanwhile, there’s something I feel like writing about today.

The New York Times has an article today that talked about the decline of humanities in postsecondary education in recent years. The problem is well-known, that liberal arts education, which focuses on topics like languages, literature, the arts, history, cultural studies, philosophy, and religion, are not exactly considered useful in that they don’t directly prepare students for vocations that are becoming increasingly specialized these days. As a result, there is a general push from parents, educators, and the students themselves, to stay away from these and instead spend most of education learning technical knowledge in math and science-related topics.

Not surprisingly, hardcore humanities enthusiasts are panicking, and now some of them are considering abandoning the “old Ivory Tower view of liberal education” and instead, they would market the humanities subjects based on its practical worth. For instance, they might focus on the importance of writing in just about all careers, or the importance of having a well-developed sense of morality when handling stem cells in some lab. These are clearly some practical benefits of the humanities, but it is also rather absurd because humanity courses don’t teach you how to write or teach you morality – in humanity courses, you gain writing skills and critical thinking skills indirectly while analyzing Shakespeare, or discussing the importance of the defeat of the Spanish Armada, or pondering whether Kant’s method for rationally supporting absolute morality really has any merit. Meanwhile, if you want to learn about writing, take a few training sessions specifically for writing. If you want to learn about critical thinking, take a few logic courses. If you want to practice them, there are endless occasions in everyday life for their application. A blog like this, for example.

See, we don’t take humanity course because they are useful; we take them because they are interesting and they are fun. Meanwhile, humanity courses are never necessary, since most of the useful side effects of liberal arts education can still be obtained just as well by merely living a conscious life. The lure of humanity courses are merely that they talk about cool and fun subjects, you get to learn to satisfy your curiosity about human history and human condition, and, in some cases, it gives you an outlet for expressing your own thoughts and see how they weigh compared with the thoughts of others.

Now, I’m beginning to suspect that part of this has its source in my own values and thus isn’t representative of the entire population. If such is the case, then I will shift the tone of this article to first person, and you guys will see how much you agree.

Personally, I like the idea of humanity courses because it’s interesting and it’s awesome. History is vast and complex and filled with passionate and impressive moments. Philosophy is intriguing for it deals with so many unanswerable questions that are still important to us at a fundamental level. I place less value in literature, because it seems to me that formal literature either means writing for writing’s sake (which seems absurd) or just philosophy with a mask. To me, the more relevant side of literature is the ability to write captivating stories as that would be a piece of art on par with a captivating musical piece or a captivating landscape painting. Geography and cultural studies seem very interesting to me because the world is a collection of places and cultures, and thus as a result I get the feeling that I “gotta collect’em all!” The same can be said with religion, although in this context, it’s another aspect of culture.

So, my general outlook on humanities isn’t bad at all. I find most of it very interesting, so then what prevents me from taking humanities courses? Well, the first and foremost problem is my program. UofT’s ECE program allows me to take 36 slots of Engineering courses and only 4 slots of non-technical complementary courses throughout the four years. This notion of “four years” is the major problem.

Why is it, that as time goes on and more and more knowledge is accumulated by human beings, as an undergrad degree requires more and more skills and knowledge to be gained in classes, the duration during which we must gain them still remains to be the same? In the early 1900s, an Electrical Engineering degree from MIT had 5 core courses and roughly around 8 fourth-year electives, with a total knowledge that can probably be taught by modern-day UofT in a year and a half if it really wanted to. Today, 90% of the courses you will ever take in this ECE program will be technical, and even if you have done so, the technical courses you took will only be a small fraction of all courses offered by the department. It’s not surprising that we don’t find the time to take humanity courses even when they are way more interesting than number crunching and solving integrals.

However, there is another, more important reason why I am not maximizing the amount of humanity courses that I can take. What do I hope to gain from a humanity course? In a humanity course, I want to be able to write papers of my own views and compare it with the views of others. I want open communication, a shared space that I can contribute to and get feedback from, and thus learn along the way. I want to be an original source. If it’s a philosophy course, I want to write down my views and call it my own regardless of whether it coincides with the views of some ancient philosopher, and I want to argue it and discuss it with others who hold different views and has different answers to the same question. I want to produce writings, I want to compose music, or invent my own method for analyzing music, and I want everyone else to create their own too so we can learn from the progress of each other. When I finish the course, I want a sense of accomplishment from the fact that I’ve participated in the field as an actual generator of ideas, and not merely as someone who analyzes the works of others.

Note that this only applies to topics that are more value-based, like literature and philosophy. For these topics, I believe they can easily sacrifice some readings and promote more original writing and idea sharing, although I do admit that it would make assignments more difficult to mark, and I’ll get to this later.

For something fact-based like history, merely a good lecturer who doesn’t rely on the textbook would be enough. For instance, the third lecturer from my Intro to East Asian Studies course, who talked about ancient Japanese history, was such a good lecturer that he was able to turn the complex religious, economic, and family dynamics of pre-Meiji Era Japan (several hundred years of history) into something that sounds like a rich and intriguing story, without sacrificing the technicality of the facts. If all history courses are like that, then I’d be taking history courses left and right (although the first two lecturers on China and Korea makes me think that this Japan guy is the exception). Yet still, why is it that I don’t ever hear of a history course where the only evaluation during the course is an assignment that asks you to compile a detailed history document with your recording of what happened, your analysis of why they happened, and your own take on their importance? This sounds like such a fun assignment, such a fair assessment of my ability to understand history, and after I finish, the amount of things that gets deeply engraved in my memory would be so much, and I’ll get the document as a souvenir afterwards!

The answer, once again, is that it’s difficult to mark, it’s difficult to prevent plagiarism, etc… It kinda makes me wonder whether it’s possible for them to just give up on the marking system, and come up with something else. But again, this is the bigger reason, at least for me, that’s making humanities look bad. On one hand, if I take humanities, I have to worry about its GPA, and on the other hand, the fact that I’m getting a grade for the course is forcing the course into a “gradable” structure that I don’t particularly find rewarding. I feel that if I take some humanities course, I will get a lot less out of it than I would like to, and that in the end, I waste my time only to lower my GPA.

There’s the argument that I only feel this way because I am too lazy to spend months reading in every word of the recommended readings and fully comprehend the details a humanity course could offer. But that is a misleading argument. Remember that humanity courses are not necessary, and that the reason why I would take one would be for fun and fulfillment. If I spend too much effort on a course, the net result is that the course would not feel fun or fulfilling, thus rendering the whole thing a failed attempt. Maybe the smart thing to do for those in the humanities field who are lamenting the popularity of humanities, is to try to make their courses more fun and less pressuring. I recall the Kansas State University professor Michael Wesch (the guy who made the “A Vision of Students Today” video) giving a presentation about some of the experimental education he was attempting. You may find the video here. It was amazing, and it makes you want to be in his classroom because that would be such an awesome environment for learning and participation. Now… if only more professors would start to try it in a widespread manner… maybe then humanities would be more popular. Remember that students don’t learn humanities because it’s useful, they learn humanities because it’s interesting, and that because it’s interesting, therefore the learning can actually be enjoyable.

Originally posted on Friday, February 20, 2009

Previous night there were two shows. The first one was a magic show which was quite entertaining. The second, a late-night adult-only burlesque show, I couldn’t attend because my photo ID are all locked in the room safe with my dad’s credit card and he was nowhere to be found. It turned out he was already inside the room, so instead, I just went back home and stayed on the internet for a while.

We woke up extra early in the morning to leave the ship and start exploring St Maarten. It looks like St Maarten is a bigger island than St Thomas of the previous day. However, it was also quite obvious that St Maarten is relatively poorer. Pretty soon we got to the beach, although nobody really planned to do anything on the beach aside from taking photographs. Then there were shops, where 90% of them were jewelry shops. After a bus ride to the French side, it started raining, so as a result we couldn’t do much, and returned. On the way back, the rain stopped, and we spent the rest of the afternoon shopping around for souvenirs and stuff.

In the evening they had another comedian, who wasn’t bad. St. Maarten is supposed to be the highlight of this trip, and it’s surprising that it’s such a let down.

I realized something… next time I want to watch a movie and can’t find a good one to watch, what I should do is download a collection of recent trailers, and watch them. I used to look at entries in Wikipedia or IMDB, but those descriptions almost always repel me away from these movies. Meanwhile, there’s a channel on this ship that just shows movie trailers and just about every one of them makes me want to watch the movie.

My sickness is now reduced to just coughing (rather violently, as it’s making the bottom of my ribcage hurt) every once in a while. All other problems seems to have gone, so that’s good… I need to start reviewing operating systems now, I’m too behind in that.

Photos of Day Five

Originally posted on Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hey guys! Sorry about not updating earlier. I fell sick somehow. I think it’s because of changing environments too quickly. I left Toronto, a cold place, to arrive at Miami, a hot place. Then I went onto the ship which takes me to hotter places yet at the same time the rooms on the boat are extremely cold. On top of that, my bed (an extra) was close to the floor and the rocking of the boat made it difficult to sleep on the first night. By the second morning, my nose was getting weird (as in stuffed). By the second night my throat started itching and hurting, and it got worse yesterday. The five hour walking in San Juan yesterday afternoon didn’t help either, so as a result I had to sleep early yesterday, and missed half of St Thomas excursion this morning. I think the worst part is over now…

But anyway, let’s see what happened. It seems that the shows on the ship every evening are quite good. The singers and dancers are good and the sound and lighting are good. They also got a comedian in who was quite funny, who did two shows. Meanwhile, I’m starting to become less and less impressed about food and service on the ship. In terms of food, yes, you always get food, but they aren’t always satisfactory. There’s always food on the 9th deck, but the only thing that’s 24 hours is their pizzeria, and their pizza is pretty bad. When the other places on the 9th deck opens, it almost always serve the same thing. Some of the popular food items are much too greasy, and the deli/asian corners have only a few options available.

Dinner at the dining rooms are quite nice, though. However, the whole point behind dinner is having an excellent dinner, and not a satisfactory one. Note the use of vocabulary. Excellent means the dinner is organized, the waiters are perfect, the dishes are well-made down to every detail, etc… However, the wait-time between the bread, appetizers, main course, and dessert is so long that you’ll feel like you’re wasting time, and at the same time, the food themselves may look amazing, but at times they’re neither tasty nor filling…

However, there are two things that are absolutely awesome in terms of the food on this ship: coffee and ice cream. I have no complaints about those at all, they’re awesome, amazing, easily accessible, and very satisfactory.

In terms of service… my complaint is that I tried to call the room steward twice now on different rooms in different times, and I haven’t yet been able to reach him by phone. I have no idea where he is, but considering that what I needed are related directly to my illness, I got pretty annoyed. Aside from this, all the other service is pretty good actually. Everyone is very, very friendly.

In the end, there aren’t that many things to do for me on the ship. There’s a spa on the top deck, but everything their cost money and are expensive. I wouldn’t mind watching some trivia games (they had one in the first day and it looks pretty fun), but since the first day it seems that the Rome Lounge (place where they play game events) has been made exclusively for bingo. It kinda makes you wonder why such a simple and childish game is being such a major event here. I usually don’t like to sunbath, but I wouldn’t mind swimming. However, the two swimming pools on deck are tiny pools meant for little kids, and are usually extremely crowded. Can’t blame them though, as it’s difficult to build a pool on top of a ship. There’s a casino, which seems to be highly popular, but that’s not for me. The various bars are not for me either, as I’m not one for drinking. There are lots of lounges and places where they play music and people socialize, so it’s awesome if you came with a group of people, and less awesome if you came by yourself.

In the end, I spend a lot of my time trying to get good photographs and explore the ship, and go to random events that look interesting. The evening shows were usually awesome. Of course, there are three shore excursions which means touring three different cities. If you want to see pictures of those, check out the links!

Photos of Day Two

Photos of Day Three

Photos of Day Four

Since I’m sick, I’m also behind on my review for the Operating Systems midterm that’s happening the day after the evening I get back… That’s starting to look a bit scary. However, some initial readings made it pretty clear that all I need is time to read the stuff… it’s not that hard to understand. It would be awesome if I can finish the cruise on a high note, be totally ready for Monday’s midterm, and find that I got an AMD job offer by the time I get back… that would be so awesome, lol…

I will see you guys later!

Originally posted on Sunday, February 15, 2009

Well, the trip started out with taking the plane from Toronto Pearson. This was my first plane trip since many years ago when I went back to China. My impression was… well… planes aren’t very sturdy, and it shakes often in the air. We took a flight from Toronto to Chicago, and then switched to the second flight to Miami.

The second flight was delayed for an hour, but it came eventually. Onboard we watched some kid’s movie about a town called Ember and two kids trying to get outside. It seemed like a Disney movie at first, although soon it started to look like a movie based on a Children’s fantasy novel. I have no idea where it came from or what it is called, but I liked it. The world needs more children’s fantasy films that are dramatic and dark at times (as opposed to Disney happy-go-lucky ones). By around 11:00PM Saturday, we arrived at Miami.

We stayed at Day’s Inn Miami International, a hotel roughly about four stories high. It was right beside a highway and the airport, so the night was an orchestra of noise. I slept without a problem, but apparently it bothered my dad. The next morning we missed breakfast, so we bought a few sandwiches at a gas station, commenting on the palm trees along the way. We checked into the cruise later in the afternoon. The process went quite quickly and not long after, we’re where we are now.

You know those cruise ships you see in thriller movies like Poseidon? Apparently this one isn’t that big (although it is one of the bigger ones available). Well, it’s hard to tell. On the top deck, you can definitely marvel at its size, as it is 12 stories tall and even more massive when you look at its width and length. However, inside the cruise you’ll see either hallways of staterooms, or public lounges/cafeteria/dining rooms/amphitheatres/etc… The biggest of these rooms are merely two-floor theatres or dining rooms, and there are no long and massive multi-story walkways (like the Eaton center) inside the ship. Clearly, Hollywood is exaggerating, although no one should be surprised.

The departure from Miami was fantastic not only because of the ship, but also because of the weather and skyline. There was a fair bit of clouds, hence making it so that the afternoon sun shone through the clouds onto water, and the vapor-filled air allowing for sunlight to appear in multiple shapes. Meanwhile, this massive ship makes its way out Miami Harbor (land on both sides makes the narrow strip of water seem as if it’s a massive lane for a massive ship) and into the sea. Plenty of people were taking pictures, playing around in the pool, and eating random things.

Food was everywhere. Not only are both dining rooms operating throughout the evening, the buffet area on deck 9 always had some sort of food and drink available, and the best part is that just about all food here is free (or rather, already been paid for). I finished lunch with a full stomach, and that continued until long after dinner. At 10:30 PM there was a comedy show, which wasn’t bad, and here I am, about to head to sleep.

Meanwhile, I realized that the Photoshop script I use to make my picture galleries don’t exist on this computer. When I upload this, I will try to upload the pictures onto a directory. If the bandwidth is too limited, then I guess pictures won’t show up on this site until after I return.

Click Here To See Photos

Hope you guys are having a nice reading week!

Originally posted on Friday, February 13, 2009

In case any of you didn’t know, I won’t be around during reading week. Instead, I’ll be cruising the Caribbean on this:

Carnival Triumph

A few months ago, my parents told me that apparently some student organization (Microbiology Student Union or something like that) from their college years have decided to gather up North American alumni and organize a cruise trip together. For the two of them, I think it’s a good thing. Ever since my Dad went to New York, both of them have been working and living alone, and from how things sound, it was probably quite stressful. Needless to say, I got to take advantage of this cruise offer too.

Plane leaves Toronto on Saturday morning. I’ll be arriving at Miami, Florida Saturday night. The cruise will leave Florida shores Sunday afternoon. It will visit San Juan (Puerto Rico), St. Thomas (U.S. Virgin Islands), and St. Maarten (Netherlands Antilles). Most of the trip will be peacefully sailing at sea. It’s a good chance to relax and have some fun. Although it seems I’ll have to bring my Operating Systems textbook as I have a midterm right after I get back.

There should be Internet, although it will be expensive. I’ll be taking pictures and leaving updates of the trip (here) whenever I can. If you want to somehow get into contact with me, your best bet is probably email me, and I’ll check it around once a day. I won’t be using my phone unless it’s an emergency. I will be back in Toronto on a flight that arrives Sunday evening (Feb 22nd).

Originally posted on Saturday, January 24, 2009

Let’s do a quick reassessment of my life and goals.

Let’s start with an Assumption: I want to study hard, understand everything, and become a great engineer

Question: If I understand everything, will I become a great engineer? How great will I be?

More importantly, does it take understanding everything to become a great engineer? Will, say… understanding everything in Newtonian dynamics (a first year course outside of my specialization) be necessary for me to become a great engineer?

Answer: No. So let’s revise the assumption:

Assumption: I want to study hard, understand all that is relevant, and become a great engineer.

Of course, a great engineer, for me, would be a computer engineer who takes active and important roles in the development of projects that are both amazing and significant. So, what does all that is relevant consist of when it comes to this definition?

• I will need to know programming languages and have hardware skills
• I will need to know the design processes in practice for all such projects
• I will need to know how to create and use mathematical models for various systems and algorithms
• I will need a detailed understanding of computing concepts and computer architecture
• I will need experience and knowledge of the current state-of-the-art and market conditions for such projects
• I will need to be able to notice and pertain my performance to the strengths and weaknesses of my teammates
• I will need to be appropriately social depending on the situation
• I will need to be able to mentally perceive and play around with the whole picture of the project
• I will need to have my goals set and tasks organized
• I will need to be relatively fit in order to generate enough energy for these efforts

Ah, that’s a good list. We will work with this list from now on. This list contains items that must be met before I can say that I have all the qualities it takes to become a potential great engineer. If I am a great engineer, I will already have these qualities. If I have these qualities, I may not yet be a great engineer if I have not generated results. First, acquire these bullet points, next, apply them in real-world projects, and if both succeeds, then maybe I can call myself a great engineer.

Some bullet points come from understanding things in my classes. For example, knowledge of computer architecture may be obtained easily simply by learning concepts from classes. Currently, three of my four classes directly belong in this category: computer hardware, operating systems, and engineering economics. The fourth, dynamic systems and control, is not with the area of my specialization, and I am only taking it because of breadth requirements, so therefore I only need a semi-decent mark in that course. How much I learn from the course will not matter.

The three courses, however, must be treated with a serious attitude. I will expect A-grades from those three courses, and I will expect deep understanding of those course material after the course is finished.

Back to the list. Some other bullet points comes from merely experience. For example, programming language skills can only come from writing code for projects. I can choose to write code like mad to gain experience, but that is not an efficient method and will not work very well for me. Therefore, I will merely expose myself to opportunities to train up such skills, and that is all.

Others, such as organization skills, only takes small but constant effort. I am already persevering on many of these things. For example, I create and follow my daily schedule using Mozilla Sunbird. Past experience with establishing these habits tells me that attacking it head-on with willpower is not a good solution. Instead, what worked was the strategy of trying to naturally integrate these habits into everyday life, a small chunk at a time. This process will certainly continue, as it has been ongoing since years ago.

And that’s that.

Now, engineering isn’t the only part of life. So let us now focus on the other stuff. The goal is to integrate myself into a lifestyle with meaning, which I am constantly trying to do. The following are conclusions drawn from past mistakes:

Learning Does Not Equal Meaning: Let’s face it, not all knowledge is valuable. For knowledge to be valuable to me, they must have qualities that I deem to be valuable. For instance, useful knowledge is valuable, so are certain knowledge that I enjoy learning despite its lack of utility. It is foolish to learn for the sake of learning. If I learn something, then it should be something I want to learn. I will not let my principles to drive my desires, for that is unnatural. I will have my desires drive my principles, for then I will be true to myself. For instance, I do not follow duty because my principles tell me that duty must be followed, instead, I follow duty because I would feel guilty, or frustrate at the inefficiency I would cause, otherwise.

Trust Neither The Mind Alone Nor The Heart Alone: Mind is the source of conscious thoughts and willpower. Heart is the (poetic) source of unconscious desires and feelings. Obviously, each keeps the other in check, and a healthy balance is thus achieved. I will not reach any desired states if I rely only on rational thinking or if I rely only on following emotions. At the moment, my belief is that a wholesome and autonomous life is only possible when I trust in both and passively – but consciously – acknowledge my body’s efforts to achieve such balance.

Remember The Ultimate Big Picture: I strive for nothing for its own sake. Instead, all that I strive for I do so because they will contribute to my happiness, which will feed my unconscious, irrational desire to be happy. This is true of all human beings whether they admit it or not. Openly admitting this creates a more solid practical foundation for my principles and way of life. This is not a morally inferior view of the world for I do not acknowledge any such absolute moral standard that can be used to reach such a conclusion. Arbitrary principles without ground in irrational desires will only serve to confuse the hell out of us and make us do things that we have no idea why we’re doing.

The strategy for life, then, is to simply put effort into things that I am interested in or that I find to be meaningful on an unconscious, irrational level. For example, I would never apply for a job position unless the job itself interests me. The amount of effort I spend on these things is obviously naturally influenced by how interesting or meaningful such things appear to me. However, putting extra effort is always a good idea because it would obviously increase the chances of success and make wasted efforts less likely.

That makes things pretty clear, lol. Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Originally posted on Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Recently, I’ve been seeing fliers and posters everywhere. They’re all about some “Does God Exist?” debate between some foreign theistic prof and a UofT atheist prof. After quick glances at the website of this debate, it became clear that once again, we have a debate that tries to go into every detail to answer a question that is of questionable importance in the first place.

“Does God Exist?” certainly sounds like an important question. I too once believed that this is the central, unanswerable question that allows reason to let pass religious extremist militants and religious fundamentalist idiots. I too once believed that because we can’t answer such a question, therefore our prejudice against such behavior are merely individual, subjective, opinions. I mean, certainly, if God doesn’t exist, then nobody would be right in using God as an excuse to perform undesirable actions, whether creating murder in the world, or messing up educational systems, or just being plain idiots. On the other hand, certainly if God does exist, then it doesn’t matter how evil or stupid of actions we perceive them to be, they must be right actions if they are required by God.

As it turns out, the whole topic of religion is one huge unorganized and complicated mess. The question of “does God exist?” is like a figurehead – everyone think it represents the topic, but it’s nowhere near the real important questions we should be asking when dwelling in the topic. In most “Does God Exist?” debates, what ends up happening is that the defenders and attackers of God constantly makes arguments towards various principles of philosophy and science – they go anywhere from evolution to philosophy to thermodynamics and high-energy physics, talking about topics like probability, chance, the Big Bang theory, the beginning of the Universe, etc… It takes people who are well-versed in many disciplines in order to hold ground in such a debate, but for what? Usually, the final goal of the theistic side is to prove that some “intelligent, immaterial, powerful, changeless being existed in a timeless, eternal state beyond the beginning of the universe,” and the atheists obviously want to argue otherwise.

So yea, all that effort, and regardless of which side wins, in the end all we can conclude is that “some entity” with “a few stated properties” exists or does not exist. Very useful… very useful indeed. Of course, this is not to mention the implied uncertainty with terms like “timeless, eternal” which are concepts that theists themselves admit to be absurd and not found in observable reality, and thus only attributable to God, who thus by definition lives in an environment outside of our observable reality (and maybe only in our imaginations). But nonetheless, even if we can answer “Does God Exist?” What good would it do for us to know that some entity of certain features exist or doesn’t exist?

See, a much more relevant question is not whether this “entity” with “a few properties” exists, but rather the question of “What exactly is this entity?” What if I say that “yep, God exists, but is a badass-looking dragon, or a girl named Suzumiya Haruhi.” How would a theist respond? “Absurd?” Maybe, but can you prove that it’s definitely false? Obviously not. Nothing is definitely proven, you say, I’m fine with that, but can you prove that it’s significantly less likely than any of the dominant religions in the world? That becomes much more complicated. Note that I did not ask whether it’s just less likely, I asked whether it is significantly less likely, and many theists fumble here; they either lose reason, or create an argument so large and complicated that few people can truly prove the argument’s validity or falsehood. This question of “Which God?” is much more difficult to answer, and much more relevant than “Does God Exist?” Yet, when I type in “Does God Exist” into Google, I get numerous debate sites, discussion articles, and the like, and when I type in “Which God is Real” or merely a more generic “Which God,” the results are much more ambiguous and random, clearly the less popular of questions.

Why is it that I never see a debate between Christians, Jews, Islamists, Hindus, etc… over whose religion is more likely to be true? Perhaps they can compare evidences and miracles and argue over things like whose holy scripture is more internally consistent. Although, a proper debate would be large and complicated indeed. The world isn’t divided between atheists and theists. The world is divided between atheists, theists of belief 1, theists of belief 2, theists of belief 3, etc… and every gradient in-between. Even within Christianity there are over 38,000 denominations of which many take dramatically different interpretations for how one should behave. And let’s not forget the religions like certain Chinese traditional religions that treats itself more like a philosophy (some “guide to life”) rather than divine, absolute truth. Certainly not all religions adopt a “we are right and you are wrong” attitude. Surely some religions openly encourage the belief in any religion, and surely there are other religions between these extremes as well.

Now, for simplicity’s sake, let’s assume that all religions in the world does in fact claim a “we are right and you are wrong” attitude, this logically leads to the conclusion that if any religion turns out to be right, all the rest would be automatically wrong. So then, all we have to do is compare evidences, find the most likely religion, and that’ll be our best bet, right? Not likely. Let’s remember what God at this point is. The people who debate “Does God Exist?” tend to define God as some sort of entity that has a few generic properties (e.g. intelligent, immaterial, powerful, etc…), and that’s all we know about God. With such a vague definition of God, we are not very certain about anything as there are endless possibilities. So therefore, even if some possibilities are judged to be more likely than others, we still do not have the ground to say that any possibility is sufficiently probable to make believing in it worthwhile.

Remember, even though religion A might have more evidence than religion B, it does not mean religion A has sufficient evidence to justify belief. In fact, if all we know about God is that God must fit a few general properties, then the possibilities for potential Gods are endless, and the more potential Gods we have, the smaller the “truth probability” of each God becomes. So therefore, if everyone adopts a “we are right and you are wrong” attitude, then the world is screwed, for every single person would have only a tiny probability of ending up in a good afterlife.

It seems that if God exists and is judgmental, then either God has to tolerate other religions, or we’re all pretty much screwed.

Originally posted on Sunday, December 7, 2008

In the past week, I’ve managed to finish writing the music to a song. It has no lyrics yet, but all the notes has been laid out. This song is the embodiment of my improvisations, which always seem to converge into a few cliched chord progressions. As a result, you’ll hear very few transformations within this song. My impression afterwards is that it sounded about the same throughout. That may fit certain themes and certain scenes, but it’s ultimately something I need to stay away from.

Regardless, I quite like the result. For just about every piece of music I make, I add in some “flair” bits that makes the song stir emotions. For this one, I’ve created quite a few of those, and to good effect I think. So, without further speech, I present to you: composition X!

lol, that means the song has yet to be named. But anyway, here it is.